The carnival came to town! The family all gathered together and had such a great time! I couldn’t believe the nerve these kids have! Victoria and her cousin Cayden had a wonderful day!
Victoria’s handsome cousin Cayden
Victoria’s first ride with her Grandma Titi
Cayden and Victoria (please excuse my finger)
Victoria and Mommy on the Fun House
Mommy and Victoria sliding down
Loves her Ladybugs!
Cayden’s first big person ride!!!!!
Cayden and Victoria in the Tilt-A-Whirl
The kids on the Dragon roller coaster
Soon the day was done and everyone went home. The best part of it all was we created memories together.
It seems as I get older its harder and harder to accept things. I don’t always mean to be such a snot, but I am. I want Victoria and I to have a very healthy relationship without any distractions from anyone, including my daughter. I know that sounds harsh but that is how I feel.
Today was the day that was decided who has custodial rights to Victoria. I woke up early in the morning to rush to Victoria’s crib while her mother was still sleeping in her bed. Her little diaper was full from her deep slumber through the hours of eight o’clock pm til six o’clock am. She has had this type of sleep schedule for a few months now and I am not changing it by sleeping in. My daughter wakes in my absence to take care of her so I am comforted to know that she will wake up at an appropriate hour every day. But today was an extra important day for me to spend with my Photon.
As I am sitting on the couch in a quiet room, I feed her and she is looking directly into my eyes as if to tell me, “Everything will be alright today, Grandma Titi.” My eyes well up with tears trying to believe that they aren’t going to take my grand daughter away. I have invested so much time and energy into knowing her, having her know who I am. Holding on to her tight, I start crying but knowing that little girl will never know how scared I am and how heartbreaking it is to see her go.
But then I have to realize on how the other grandmother feels. Nana. She is and wants to be an important part of her first and only grand daughter’s life too. It’s hard to ‘share’. I never had to share my daughter with her father so this was really hard for me. Nana deserves to have special times with her grand daughter too. Why is that so hard for me to realize?
I stayed home babysitting Victoria and my two nephews while my bestie came over with her two children. We spent the day watching the boys play while we took turns holding Victoria, passing her back and forth as if it were our last time. My bestie is the best bestie I have ever had. She came over with her boys in a pirate ensemble to entice my nephews with a scavenger hunt. They came with eye-patches, pirate hats, scarves and a treasure map for the kids to discover a bounty full of gold coins hidden in the house.
At the end of the day, I learn that the verdict is actually in everyone’s favor. My daughter gets full custody while Victoria’s father sees her part of the week. That is pretty fair. But why do I still feel stressed? I’ve been stressed throughout her little life of three months. But I have been extra stressed starting in the month of June. Now you know why I haven’t been adding many blog posts. I have to admit I have lost a lot of followers but my true followers have stayed tuned for my updates. And for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It’s been a hard month but I promise I will provide more interesting reading material for my followers.
The time inches nearer and nearer! In the next week…or next few days I could have my granddaughter in my arms. The thought of my baby girl having a baby girl is so mind-blowing. And it is actually becoming more real. Last weekend we decided to get some of her laundry done. I remember holding up the Onsies and commenting on how adorable a little body will fit in them. The little socks and bibs. Or even the receiving blankets. Her little head will be covered with the cutest little pink and white hats that my daughter received at the baby shower. This child will have an assortment of nice, warm and comfortable things to wear.
As my daughter was finishing some online college work due on friday, I have been in the kitchen cleaning and sterilizing the bottles and pacifiers. My bestie gave her a microwavable sterilizing kit and boy does it work wonders! When my child was little, her father and I had bought a sterilizing kit that cost in the neighborhood of $75-$100. It worked wonders as well but the price was outrageous! Thank goodness you can get a kit for around $10 at your local Target (from what I have seen) or you can clean the bottles, fill them halfway with water, get a microwavable bowl, fill it with water (about 7 oz) and throw in the nipples, rings and tops. I must say I have learned a little bit more about sterilization on my second time around. This generation has all the cool gadgets.
Finally we set up the crib. My bestie was here helping us put it together. It is a beautiful dark cherry wood-finished convertible crib which is from my family. See, this is what we normally do. Victoria will be the second baby that sleeps in this crib. The first? My beautiful nephew Cayden. Not only are they a few years apart but they will grow up together and hopefully have the same friends. This is my sister’s and my hope. The theme of her nursery will be ‘Ladybugs’. As I am putting the decals on the walls, I can’t help but chuckle that my daughter has always been ‘my ladybug’ because of (from what I believe) is good luck. I also learned that ladybugs are some of the few insects the Native Americans watched before the winter. They could tell if it was going to be a harsh winter or a weak one. (Just another one of the many meteorological stories I have heard).
Yes, as I said before, today is my birthday. My 43rd birthday to be exact. Usually on this day, there is absolutely nothing going on. I mean, I am glad nothing out-of-the-ordinary goes on during this day. Shoot. This day is so mundane that I have found not many famous people share my birthday…probably since about 1678. Its ok. So I am not sharing a birthday with my granddaughter. But I will share our birthstone and zodiac sign. Things will work out just fine.
Until then, we wait.
Walking up to the football field with my whole family was a treat. There were the aunts, uncles, grandmothers, cousins, daughters, step-children and babies. My youngest of my many nephews had so much fun with all of his siblings (half and step) surrounding him. He will be three years older than my grand daughter and (as my sister and I are planning) to have them grow up together and become in the same social groups. That would make me a very happy Titi and Grandmother.
Making our way through the crowds, we had to pay to get in the game at a make-shift desk with a couple of the mothers who have children in the football game. I opted to buy raffle ticket for a $50 coupon to benefit my nephew’s football team. Everyone in our group had walked over to the grandstand to find themselves a seat on the cold, metal bleachers.
There is my beautiful nephew, my “Spirit” in a crowd of young boys donned in football gear. My sister always introduced sports to the kids to teach them that “Its not winning or losing, its how you play the game”. I appreciated it when she introduced my daughter to softball as a child.
There is a reason why I had something in common with NASA as I was waiting for his birth. It was in the early part of January 2004. My mother went to the hospital to be with my sister as she was giving birth and I wanted to sit by the phone and wait for any news. Remember this was South Florida and the sun was setting in the west. I decided to turn on CNN to watch NASA anxiously awaiting a satellite drop both Opportunity and Spirit Rovers on the Martian surface. (Opportunity was dropped 2 weeks later.) Watching the scientists watch the satellite was so exciting as I am sitting on my couch in the air conditioning, holding a remote control in one hand and a cell phone in the other. It is about 8 p.m. and the first rover drops, bounces in a balloon-like vessel then lands with pure grace. Mission Control cheers. I get a phone call *as Mission Control is cheering* to learn that I have a beautiful nephew that just entered our world as we know it.
Funny…..I am jumping up and down cheering along with NASA Mission Control for the same thing. Welcoming two beautiful vessels into a new world.
I love you, my Spirit, my nephew. Love, Titi
It has been identified that about one in 88 children have been born with autism spectrum disorder according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Statistics show that over 2 million people in the United States alone are affected by this. This proportion of people with autism spectrum disorder in expected to increase from 10 to 17 percent annually due to the fact of wider awareness and proper screening although there is still a mystery why the continued increase still haunts us. It is not fully known how this horrible disorder manifests but with current research showing that it is likely due to a complex combination of genetic predispositions and environmental factors that have influenced early brain development. Either advanced ages of either parents at the moment of conception, maternal illness during the pregnancy, extreme prematurity or very low birth weight. Fortunately not every child develops these types of neuro-developmental disorders. The effects of maternal immune activation involves the strength of fighting infection and genetic predisposition.
My sister had given birth to a child with autism spectrum disorder in 2000. We were so happy to welcome a beautiful little boy in our family. All ten fingers and ten toes were all we needed. As he grew, things were different…like that angel was battling something inside of him that we could not figure out. My sister went to doctor after doctor, administering him medicine that I couldn’t even pronounce. It seemed that my sister was going stir-crazy trying to find what was the matter with her son. But my sister *did* find out what was wrong with her son. Like so many other loving parents, my sister did not give up on finding out what was affecting her son. I am so proud of her for that. After so many trials that family has been through, there is a light at the end of the tunnel for the both of them.
Today he is a marvelous student, awesome musician (he plays the clarinet in his school marching band) and is a wonderful individual that will prosper as he goes into his teenaged years. This is a success story.