Fourth Time is a Charm

It was about 8 o’clock and I was wondering when Sara was getting home. She normally gets off of work earlier but tonight was different. Baby Michael or Bubby as we call him was fast asleep in his crib while Victoria was asleep in her bed as well. Sara’s husband Michael was doing a tour of duty in Poland so they only had a little time to talk on the phone. I figured she was downstairs in the parking lot talking to him on the phone so I thought to leave both of them alone. I was finishing up cleaning the dishes and fixing up the living room before I can jump in the shower and go to bed. Sara rushed into the apartment with tears in her eyes, holding her cell phone with Michael on the other end. A flood of questions were in my head wondering what was going on between them both. Sara sat down and asked me to keep an open mind. I took a deep breath knowing this is going to hit me like a ton of bricks. I could see Sara sitting with her head in her hands crying while Michael stayed silent on the phone. “Mom, I’m pregnant.” She spoke to me with tears in her eyes. I remained silent for a moment. Now remember she’s married. Its not exactly an unwed pregnancy but this was a surprise to us all, especially me. I remember holding onto the couch like I’m falling through a black hole of ‘what ifs’. Our lives were getting a bit back to normal. Bubby was almost done with formula and both the kids were growing up. For some God-forsaken reason, I guess you can say that I was trying to be a consoling, loving mother, I tried to reassure both Sara and Michael that we will get through this together as a family. We have a future blessing that is about to enter our lives so we need to be prepared.

Now I can’t imagine a world without my fourth granddaughter Emma Nicole!

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Playing Catch-Up After a Busy Year

Haven’t been here for a while. There is a WHOLE lot that has been going on. Victoria, Annabelle and Michael are growing like weeds. It astounds me how big they have gotten. Victoria and Annabelle are now potty-trained. It hasn’t even been a year yet and both of

the ladies are doing a great job! Victoria has been in school since August. She has tackled her ABCs and can count to 19. The number 20 is kind of hard for her but she will get it. Since she was a baby, I have been singing Nursery Rhymes to her so she has a head start in that. But her favorite song to date, the song she sings to her brother is Baa Baa Black Sheep. She also knows all her colors…well…the REQUIRED colors for Kindergarten. But that is a ways away.

Halloween was quiet this year. Both the girls acquired a new baby brother and their parents worked so it was hard for me to get out to bring Victoria to different events. But Victoria and Annabelle got to see each other.Thanksgiving was at my sister’s house and they got to see their cousins. There is nothing like being with family to get you in the mood for the holiday season. Christmas was a very good time in this house. The three kids went to Michael Sr.’s aunts house for their family christmas party. You wouldn’t believe the gifts and toys those babies got!! Then the next day, Victoria and Michael had to contend with our house, soon, Victoria would have to open presents at her Daddy’s house, then her Papaw’s house. These kids got so much!

Through the months they all have grown to be wonderful little people. In March, Victoria had her 4^th birthday. It happened to be on my OWN birthday. That is the kind of birthday I like. She had her brother and sister there, her father and his girlfriend there and many of her friends. Plus her mom and her step-dad was there. Her aunt, cousin and my mother was there as well. It was a good day, my birthday. Later in the month, my daughter decided to go visit her ailing grandfather down in South Florida. That was good for me because I am so homesick. We have been living here in Tennessee for a decade. This was the first time I had driven down to South Florida by myself…and I did it. But being down there was so good for my soul. I got to stay with my best friend. It didn’t even seem like time was against us. It was like I just saw her the day before. It was great hanging out on her patio watching the palm trees gently sway, drinking coffee and talking the day away. After we went to the beach to walk on the Lake Worth pier. I appreciate her letting me close my eyes and silently smell the fresh salty air. The wind whipped through my long hair as we sat in silence. When I opened my eyes, all I could see was far away ocean liners sailing in the distance. That is my home and I will always long for it until the day I die. Finally we went to my daughter’s big sister’s moms house. We met up with her children (which I absolutely adore). I am so glad the kids finally got to meet their cousins. We went to Moi’s house, their grandmother’s house. It just seemed like old times. All the neighbors got along, they would sit outside after the sun went down and talked. We had ribs and yellow rice for dinner. I had so much fun, I didn’t want to leave. But I had to. My mother and sister were up north. My black cat Shaddow was up north. So even though it was hard, I had to go back.

After a busy week, we head into another busy week. My daughter and her fiance decide to get married! They have been talking and planning about it for years. But they finally did it. Now Victoria, Annabelle and Michael are a blended family. March has been a really good month for us this year. Now it is April and its back to normal. Victoria finishes her first year of headstart next month. Lets just hope the coming months will be calm.

Victoria’s Adventures

The last few months have been a blessing. But at the same time they have been such a busy time for me. Most of the time, we have stayed home but only because Victoria prefers having ‘alone time’ in her room. I really don’t know what to make of it but I am not worried about it. She just sits on her twin bed and plays with her Barbies. She has collected a lot of Barbie items throughout the months and keeps them safely in an old diaper bag (backpack). She carries that around all the time. Her Barbies mean so much to her.

Of course Victoria has done many other things these past few months. She has spent time with her sister Annabelle, Mommy’s fiance’s daughter. Victoria calls him ‘TwoDaddy’. She loves her sister so much. I think it is great that they are only 8 months apart. I’m sure in the future they are going to have many ups and downs as siblings; but they will be doing this together.

As a family, we have gone on a few outings such as taking Victoria for her first visit to the Aquarium in the Smokies. It was a lovely place, crowded but we had fun. Perhaps she will remember only in spurts like I did when I was three years of age. I take that into account when we spend the day together; I want her to look back on life with Titi and smile. I might not have had the chance to meet my Mamae but I want to show Victoria the same love that I know Mamae would have shown me.

What I love about this whole set-up is that everyone gets along for the kids. Victoria’s parents make sure the other parent gets to spend quality time with Victoria, to make sure she understands (or if one day she understands) that both her parents love her so much and that she needs to know this from both her mom and dad. Most parents who aren’t together have a hard time putting their egos aside and thinking about the child. This isn’t a problem for Victoria’s parents.

Cutting the grass with Papaw

About to go skateboarding with Daddy

About to get Chocolate wasted with Daddy

Getting ready to go shopping with Mommy

As an artist, I realize that Victoria is going to have to display some type of ability for art. I mean, I’ve been mediocre my whole life but still, I was an artist. We are giving Victoria the chance to find her niche of what would make her HER. She has experience in different types of media, her favorite at the moment would have to be finger painting. Both my mother and my sister have some of her works of art, her mother proudly displays the poster Victoria created about a year ago. Pretty soon I want to get her a sketch pad with an art box so she can store all her art supplies in one place.

 

In our part of the world we are in the middle of summer (or it just feels that way outside!) She has been able to sightsee some of her role models and has quickly become a little starstruck, if you ask me. So we took her to see her favorite puppy heroes Paw Patrol. She actually had a blast. Although the line was extremely long, snaking around the building of the store itself, we were greeted with happy children who were excited to get a glimpse of their favorite character.

At three years old, she is really starting to come into her own. She definitely has her own personality set in stone. She’s a wonderful girl who loves to dress up in fairy princess dresses with her best friend Lili, blow bubbles with her Titi, skateboarding with her Daddy and listen to thunder and lightening during spring storms with her Mommy.

Victoria and Annabelle get a new baby brother!

Sara and Michael are expecting Michael Brian II in September 2017

We are getting a new addition to the family! Coming in September 10, 2017, Michael Brian II will be here! Mommy and baby are doing well so far and Victoria is getting excited more and more each day. She wants to be the one to get his diapers, wipes and any other item he needs from the baby shelf. She is already over-protective! Every time Mommy leaves the house to go to work, she gets a kiss and a hug then lifts Mommy’s shirt and gives ‘Bubby’ a kiss tenderly on Mommy’s belly. She asks many questions, ‘Is Bubby play wiff me?’ or ‘I seep wiff Bubby”referring to both of the kids are going to share a room. We keep reminding her that she is going to be a big sister and she needs to protect her brother. One day maybe he can do the same for her and Annabelle.

The Carnival Came To Town!

The carnival came to town! The family all gathered together and had such a great time! I couldn’t believe the nerve these kids have! Victoria and her cousin Cayden had a wonderful day! 

Victoria’s handsome cousin Cayden

Victoria’s first ride with her Grandma Titi

Cayden and Victoria (please excuse my finger)

Victoria and Mommy on the Fun House

Mommy and Victoria sliding down

Loves her Ladybugs!

Cayden’s first big person ride!!!!!

Cayden and Victoria in the Tilt-A-Whirl

The kids on the Dragon roller coaster

Soon the day was done and everyone went home. The best part of it all was we created memories together.

Doc Mcstuffins for her 3rd birthday!

Victoria is finally 3 years old. Mommy always goes all out for her birthday. To her, every year is a milestone. That’s how she was brought up and she hopes Victoria will do the same if she has children. We had a big bash inviting all the neighborhood kids, friends and family alike. Here are some of the happenings that went on that day. 

Victoria and Annabelle playing and getting along. Hard thing for sissys to do 😇😇

Victoria’s 3rd birthday cake. Her idol.

A Week of Halloween Celebration

This weekend marks the beginning of my most favorite holiday, Halloween! I love the whole season but I just view this as a ‘kick-off’ to a wonderful time of the year. Victoria is two and she is starting to enjoy this season just like every deserving child. I am so thankful that her parents allow me to be a part of the festivities!

My daughter and her fiance took Victoria and Annabelle to ‘Boo at the Zoo’, a yearly Halloween event that she makes sure she attends. We think of it as a ‘kick-off’ to the Halloween celebration week. Sadly, we didn’t get any pictures because there were so many families with their children and my daughter wanted to make sure they could keep their eyes on the girls. It was a fun time, though. Victoria, Annabelle and Liliana (My daughter’s best friend’s daughter) went together.

 

On the 28^th while my daughter was working, I took Victoria to a celebration in the historical district of the little town we live in. As I drove up in the car, I noticed the streets were blocked off and various people were setting up their tables with Halloween-themed signs. Having just dropped her mother off to work, Victoria dressed in her pink surgeon costume had fallen asleep in her car seat. We followed the long line of cars down the twists and turns finally reaching our destination. We were directed to park in a garage that, honestly, I never really noticed before when I drove by. It wasn’t a very big garage; the town isn’t very big either. I walked around the SUV to retrieve sleeping Victoria from her car seat and noticed other children in their costumes running about. I was starting to get excited for Victoria to be able to partake in the upcoming events. Ok..ok. I was excited for myself, hee hee.

As we walk up to the event Victoria, fully awake by now, notices the games and play area. I notice the dreadfully-long line. We stand in line watching the different children in costumes running back and forth. There were many, many people. Some with babies in costumes, some with a big family all decked out in costumes and there were some people with their dogs on leashes. There was a pet contest in a few hours so many families dressed up their canines and submitted them in the contest. Victoria loved seeing all the puppies run around and bark and play. She loves animals.

Finally we start the long walk to retrieve candy. Victoria got a kick out of seeing all the other kids run up to the different vendors in their creative costumes. Victoria participated in a lot of festivities, she even won a raffle at a karate school that was giving out candy: 6 weeks of free lessons. Unfortunately she wouldn’t be able to use it, being a toddler and all. Walking further down the street, Victoria and I notice many police officers with their cars parked and lights flashing. They, too were giving out candy in their patrol cars for the children. Everyone was screaming with excitement and running around their moms and dads. Carrying her purple plastic pumpkin, Victoria looked up at me with joy in her face, pointing at the many different costumes and seeing other children. Soon we scaled the whole street, walking up to the doors of many businesses with their decorative tables out on display. She really had a great time but it was time to go home.

 

Mommy’s friend sent her a Facebook message about a costume gathering at the local grocery store. Actually this isn’t just a grocery store, its a mega-grocery store. Not only do they have foods of many different kinds; they have a section when they sell clothes from infants to adults, a pharmacy equip with a walk-in clinic and a doctor and nurse always on staff. Plus they have a bar. This bar allows people to actually drink alcohol while their S.O.s shop. I think that is a lovely idea. As they walk into the store, they noticed different displays of Halloween décor. Knowing that we always take Victoria to the bakery for a free cookie first, that was the place she wanted to start. Her mother walked her up to a table with an assortment of flavors to choose from. After the two had finished decorating their individual cookies, they followed the signs that lead them to the pumpkin decorating table. She did get a bit of green paint on her costume but just a little. After she finished decorating her pumpkin, she was able to bring it home. Finally she participated in a costume contest. She was delighted to see the other children in their colorful costumes standing for a pose. I found myself lost in a crowd of parents taking pictures of their babies on their cell phones and laughing with delight. Unfortunately mommy had to return to work so Victoria and I got back in the car for a fun drive home. That night, we went to a Trunk or Treat at a church on the other side of town. There were many games to play but mostly Cake Walks and other things that Victoria didn’t feel like participating in. She was tired and so were we.

 

Finally it was October 31^st, the day of actual trick or treating! During the day, we went to the county library. Different departments were giving out candy and we thought it would be fun for Victoria to go. She walked through the double doors, inquisitive of the long line of elderly people casting their votes early. Walking up to the main desk, she was allowed to have two pieces of candy and received a board book. She loves to read! This was a great idea, I thought to myself. As she is skipping away towards the other departments, I am fumbling in my purse trying to get my camera phone ready. We scurry to the library cafe and she is greeted by a woman dressed as a witch who offers her a handful of lollypops. Not really knowing how to use her words correctly yet, she has a name for lollypops in her own little language. ‘Fwah’ is what she calls them. “Titi! Fwah’s! Fwah’s!” screamed Victoria in excitement. Soon she went to the children’s section of the library to play with various puzzles and board games. She met a few friends there and questioned about a ‘dinosaur’ computer wondering what a keyboard and mouse detached from the tower itself. She learned a new word, a word we have been waiting for but knew she would overuse: ‘Why?” “Why, Titi, why?” she would ask me. I explained that is how the computers looked when mommy was little. I suppose she accepted the answer and walked off with her father. It was his day off so he came to see her get candy and play with the other kids. After we were done with the library, we drove to my daughter’s friend’s house and went to a few houses there. After THAT, we went to a few apartments where we live and she had gotten more candy.

Now we are home and I am so tired. We have done a lot this past week but like I mentioned before, I am so thankful Victoria’s’ parents allow me to be a part of the festivities. Happy Halloween, Victoria Renee.

Many Roles of the Mohican Woman

As my Victoria Renee grows in my daughter’s belly, I fantasize about the things we can do together (at any age). I have know for a long time that I have four different Native American tribes that I can be linked to. One of my descendent tribes is from the Mohicans. I often wonder what the Grandmother’s role in those societies from back then. I have found that although the men hunted, traded and fought in wars, the women of the Mohican tribe basically took care of the farming, property and family dynamics. The women were also the ‘leaders’ of the tribe. The men might think they were the “head” of their institution but it is definitely the women who makes sure there is food from the garden, clean living arrangements, helped the children create their own artwork, music and were able to make the traditional medicine that they needed. They were both (mother and father) in charge of story-telling of past, present and future. But I have a feeling the grandmother’s played a very important part in the children’s lives. They were responsible for creating the laws of the land within the tribe. It is true, though that men were always the chiefs but the Mohican woman of today can be a politician if she wishes. The best part (in my opinion) in being a Mohican woman in those times had got to be the art. They are known for their beadwork on different articles of clothing, bags, baskets and many other accessories. Wampum beads are known to be traded as a type of currency though some believe that it is more culturally important as art rather than moneys. As beautiful as they are, they are often created for the next generation only to be told as a story in a representation of a person’s family or an incident. They were a very matrilineal tribe so they believe (which I could see) the clan comes from the mother. Whatever your mother was born into means that is what you are born into…for instance if a man marries a Mohican woman, it is tradition that he must move to her village and everything must go to the woman, even the children. Fortunately the man must marry into another clan. This is important because a wolf clan member may not marry another wolf clan member as a bear can not marry another bear because they are considered brother and sister in the end. I am so proud to know that these are my roots because of their position when it comes to women. To them, they believe that a woman created the world. One day I will write another post on this exciting subject, the Ajinjagaayonh or A Matured Flower. In many stories she is referred as ‘Sky-Woman’.

 

 

http://mohawkwcs.wikispaces.com/Family+and+Community+Roles

http://www.bigorrin.org/mohican_kids.htm

 

 

For the love of a sister

One of the most precious, genuine and melancholy relationships one can ever have will be with a sibling. If you attain one of these, your life will be filled with ups and downs but through it all, there is always someone who ‘knows you best’. Having a sister would make most relationships with other women very humdrum. She is always there on a rainy day, always there to see your triumphs and let-downs throughout your life.

My sister came into my life on a cold day in December while I was a 6 year old tomboy. I was so upset when my parents explained to me that they were going to welcome another bundle of joy in the family unit. I knew then that I had to start sharing my toys, offer hand-me-downs and learn how to deal with another type of personality. It was actually a good thing. I remember that I could hardly put her down when my mother allowed me to hold her on the couch. I used to rock her while she was in her bassinet with my foot while my mother was preparing dinner. I loved her more and more with each rocking of the foot. I was well into the year of kindergarten. I loved my family, friends and life.

Throughout the years of having a little sister was a very different experience. While she was just starting kindergarten herself, she was instructed to learn the basics, for instance, counting to 10, alphabet in the english language, color, etc. Our mother was a single parent which in turn, labelled us as ‘latch key’ kids of the 1980s. As the eldest child, I was instructed to walk my siblings home from the bus stop, make sure they finish their homework, clean the house the best I can, make simple dinners for them and (at times) make sure they take a bath and get prepared for the next day of school. Because of my attentiveness to my little sister’s needs, she walked into her first day of kindergarten with the knowledge of being able to count to one-hundred, knew her ABCs, knew how to differentiate between primary and secondary colors and could read and construct a few sentences at command. Not only did she benefit from this experience seeing her grow mentally, but I grew as well.

Fast forward to October 1987. I was in high school while she was in middle school. Our mother was still the glue that held my siblings together. I was still in charge of making sure everyone came home from school with all the other responsibilities that was mentioned earlier. Unfortunately, I was stricken with a stroke at the tender age of sixteen. My siblings had thought they had lost their big sister, especially my little sister. While I lay in bed, she wouldn’t know what to say or how to act towards me. Things were different between us. Physically, I am the big sister and she is the little sister. Unfortunately, from a mental aspect, she was the big sister. Most of the intellect that I have acquired over the years had left me in a vegetated state. As the months and years went by, I slowly regained my intelligence again, because of her. She was the one who would read with me, re-taught me the alphabet, re-taught me how to count, re-taught me how to differentiate between my primary and secondary colors and re-construct a few sentences at command. So if it weren’t for her, I would not be here to tell you my story.

The promise ring

My family has many wonderful memories. As with so many families in the 80s, we were brought up by a single mother. Her life was devoted only to us and that is the best present anyone can give. My mother is a very special person who has taught me to become an up-standing human being and a devoted mother. She is the reason I am the mother that I am today. Today we were invited to have dinner at her house to decorate the Christmas tree. If there is anyone that loves Christmas, it is her. She loves the music, the giving and the feeling the season has when the spirit for your fellow man is strong. I will always remember the relationship between my beautiful mother and her favorite time of year.

After dinner, my daughter was rummaging through her jewelry box. My mother had spoken of many stories of each piece of jewelry. We sat and listened to her wisdom as she had a gleam in her eye, telling us who she bought them from, what event it was originally for, and what the story was behind that particular piece. She kept us enthralled for an hour listening to her memories.

One particular item was a ring. My daughter tried to put it on her finger but it was too small. My mother told us about the wonderful memory behind the ring. It was given to her on Christmas morning by my little sister from “Santa’s Workshop” in elementary school. My mother was so happy to open up the christmas gift from my five year old sister. As my sister watched her open it proudly, she tells her, “When I get married, I really want you to wear this.” My mother, surrounded by mountains of ripped-up Christmas wrappings took my little sister in her arms and held her tight. Secretly, my mother vowed not only to keep it safely in her jewelry box, but to keep it close to her heart.

Busy, busy, busy….no one could predict my little sister welcoming such a big family into her house and heart. Last June was the deadline to an amazing day, her wedding to the man of her dreams. Tall, dark and handsome was the man she would marry. But their day was so beautiful. As I walked down the aisle as a bridesmaid (never a bride), I notice the beautiful decorations of the trestle with delicate flowers intertwined from the ceiling to the floor. I had to stay in step with the music while I walked down the aisle  as I was enchanted with the decorations and the surreal feeling that my little sister has finally found the happiness she so richly deserved.

The music changed tones to the classic song “Pachebel Canon” and the beautiful bride waiting with my mom, arm in arm, to walk down the aisle to her future husband. My mother shows her the ring that she bought her when she was a kindergartener. Tears streamed down my sisters face at that moment. They continued walking down the aisle for my mother to rightfully give away her daughter to a man who the whole family, like my sister, had fallen in love with.